Change Your Thoughts & Attract What You Want

Do you often find yourself struggling with the gap between what you currently have in your life versus what you want?   Are you struggling with finding that perfect job or building a satisfying career that brings out your passions?  Are you having a hard time determining what path you want to take personally and professionally?  Do you feel frustrated when you look around and see everyone around you appearing to have everything they want while you are struggling to get what you want? Are the pressures of what society perceives to be the "perfect life" not reflective of what you deem to be your "perfect life" and therefore making you feel deflated or confused?

If you can relate to any of these questions then rest assured you are not alone.  I think that many of us reach a point in our lives where we are unsure as to the direction we want to head.  Society seems to paint the perfect picture about what our life plan should look like and many of us struggle with conforming to this.  You don't have to live your life in line with the traditional steps we are led to believe are the norm.   Each one of us is unique with our own life goals and this means we have an opportunity to build our lives in ways that reflect us.  We can't let the pressures that society place on us get in the way of reaching our aspirations.  The only way for us to reach our goals is to stop focusing on what others have and start focusing inwards on what we want to have.

If you feel that you are continually striving to reach your life goals but are never arriving at them, it is time to make a change.  Blaming external influences or others is not going to get you very far. You are responsible for everything around you and it all starts with your thoughts.  Start focusing on positive images and the things you want to attract into your life.  Let go of the negative thoughts about why things aren't the way you want them to be and begin acting like you have the things in your life that make you happy.  Avoid making comments like "I will never find a job that pays me what I deserve", and start thinking about how good you will feel when you are being paid what you deserve. Start thinking about how you can make this happen.  By making simple changes to your thoughts you will subconsciously change your actions to reflect what you want to attract in your life.

Compile a list of all of the things in your life you want to have and begin prioritizing each item. Make a conscious effort to think positively about each thing that is important to you.  Write one action item beside each goal on your list that you can do immediately to make you feel like you are closer to achieving what you want. Once you complete each task add another action item until you finally reach your end goal. Here is an example of what your list could look like.

My Goals

1. Take a course on entrepreneurship- immediate action: check out courses at local college to determine costs, timing, etc.
2. Start my own business-immediate action: make an appointment to speak to a specialist that can help me with business planning.
3. Go on a trip- immediate action: check out prices, locations, etc. and begin a savings plan so eventually I can afford to go.
4. Buy a new car - immediate action: find a picture of the car I want and put it in a visible space to remind me of my long term goal.
5. Meet new people- immediate action: look for clubs, committees, sport teams, organizations that interest me that I can become involved with.

By putting your goals and action items on paper you will be putting positive energy towards the things you want to attract in your life. If you constantly focus on the negative you will never get any of the things you want.  In the end, this negativity will only cause you added stress and make it extremely difficult to stay motivated about achieving the things you really want to attract.  You have every opportunity to build the life that makes you happy so focus on what you want, persevere and attract it to your life.

"Perseverance is not a long race; it is many short races one after another". Walter Elliott   source: http://lucymacdonald.typepad.com

Check out my site http://karenjones.ca

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I have moved...

I have recently created my own website to offer resources to young professionals looking to grow their business or career.  I will be posting new blogs on this site. 

I have also included a section on my site for people to submit their own stories to help all of us learn and grow.  Please visit my site and send me your own experiences about what has been working for you in your career or what obstacles may be standing in your way.  Together we can help each other to meet our professional goals!

www.karenjones.ca 

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EFFECTIVE PRESENTATIONS: WHAT NOT TO DO!

I recently attended my sister’s University Convocation and couldn’t help but wonder what it is all suppose to be about. After one hour and 20 minutes, the "big wigs" finally finished their very long and academic speeches.  During this time almost every individual on stage, consisting of faculty members and honouary individuals, came up to the podium to say a few words to the graduates and their families. As one speaker introduced the next, a long list of accomplishments and achievements were read out.  The introductions lasted almost as long as the speeches and the speeches focused on the speakers’ own philosophies and personal triumphs.

While I understand the traditional aspects of the ceremony, including the medieval dress worn by the faculty, I am perplexed with the speakers’ inability to captivate the audience in the presentations. The tone and language did not speak to the audience and it was quite obvious that the majority of those in attendance were bored and disengaged. Many were reading books, some pulled out their laptops or PDA’s and the rest showed signs of glazed over faces checking their watches continuously. 

Given what is taught in Presentations 101, many University students know the basic concepts of making effective speeches. So why don’t the faculty demonstrate this when they speak?  It was clear that the presentations were not tailored to the graduates or their families.   If it had been, the speeches would have reflected the accomplishments of the graduates rather then those of the Chancellors and Trustees.  Not one graduating student was provided an opportunity to speak to their peers and motivate/inspire them about their future.

Personally, I find it extremely difficult to be inspired when speakers don’t connect with their audience.  I would have expected that an educational institution would prepare their students for the real world by leading by example.

As I sat through the two and half hours, I tuned out the presenters and started thinking about two things.  The first was that I was no longer disappointed that I didn’t make it my University Graduation seven years ago!  The second was about what I felt made an effective presentation.  

The following list describes 10 basic tips every presenter should be aware of.

1.                     Know your audience;

2.                     Understand the purpose of your speech;

3.                     Have a well thought out message that relates to those you are speaking to;

4.                     Keep your language & tone in line with the audience (i.e. if you are speaking about health care to people who aren’t trained medically, resist from using medical terminology). Speak in their language; 

5.                     Avoid unrelated anecdotes, be concise and get right to the point;

6.                     Be aware of how long you have to speak and stay within your limit;

7.                     Be conscious of your audiences’ body language and aware of how they may be responding to what you have to say, adjust accordingly;

8.                     If possible, engage your audience;

9.                     Know your time limit.  Never let your presentations drag on;

10.                  Ask for feedback.  Modify your presentation based on this.

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The Four Agreements

I recently finished reading The Four Agreements a book written by Don Miguel Ruiz.  

To be honest, the cover of the book didn't really appeal to me at first and I likely would have skipped right over it if I had seen it on the shelf at a bookstore.  Fortunately, a close friend of mine lent it to me and urged me to read it, I am now urging you. It is worth the read.

The book is a very quick read and focuses on Four Agreements based on ancient Toltec wisdom. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toltec  The agreements discussed in the book resonated with me and each day I try to keep a conscious effort to follow the advice they offer.  Simply stated, the Four Agreements are as follows:

1. Be impeccable with your word

"Speak with integrity.  Say only what you mean.  Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.  Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love."

2. Don't take anything personally

"Nothing others do is because of you.  What others say and do is a protection of their own reality, their own dream.  When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you wont be the victim of needless suffering."

3. Don't make assumptions

"Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want.  Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama.  With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life."

4.  Always do your best

"Your best is going to change from moment to moment, it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self- judgement, self-abuse and regret."

In order to make a difference, I have had to really think about these agreements on a regular basis.  I suppose that is why I decided to share them as they are never far from my mind.  I have noticed that when things aren't going my way or I am faced with a difficult situation, these agreements have helped me work through it.   Even if you aren't able to read the book right now, continue to re-read the Four Agreements and apply them to specific opportunities/challenges in your life.  It seems to be helping me to gain different perspectives, and I am certain that it can help you as well.  

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Building your self confidence

Self confidence plays a vital role in any young women’s development and as a result can affect the decisions you make and the path you follow.  When we graduate from school and enter the working world we are forced to put ourselves in a position that sets us up for challenges, questions our abilities, analyzes our strengths and weaknesses and creates a competitive and overwhelming experience.  Finding that perfect job, determining your career path and figuring out how to gain experience is all part of the journey.  However, as we set into this journey we are unaware about what to expect and can often be met with much disappointment when things don’t go as planned.  These let downs can have a negative affect on our confidence levels and as result we become more and more negative with ourselves and the world.   Whether it be job searching, fitting in your organization as a young player on the team, figuring how to move up in the company or perhaps starting a new business, our self confidence plays an important part.

Here are 10 tips to help you improve your confidence and further develop your professional and personal successes:

1. Treat yourself as you would treat your friends, encourage yourself to reach your own goals just like you would help your friends reach theirs.
2. Keep trying, don't be afraid of failing.
3. Follow your gut, your intuition is usually right!
4. Take action- if you keep doing what you are doing, you are going to keep getting what you are getting.  Make the change.
5. Present yourself to others as confident and self assured, this includes dressing professionally, having good posture, making eye contact when speaking to others, contributing to the conversation and listening to what other people have to say. 
6. Take responsibility for your own actions and don't participate in the "blame game".
7. Make an effort to smile and say hello to one stranger you pass each day.
8. Be honest with yourself, recognize areas you are strong in and don't be afraid to ask for help with your weaknesses.  
9. Learn new things and expand your knowledge about topics you are interested in.
10. If you try something and it doesn't work, try again and again and again.  Don't accept defeat. Believe in yourself. 

Follow these tips and commit to building your confidence and self image today.  If you look the part, sound the part and act the part you will be successful in all aspects of your life! 

“No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”  Eleanor Roosevelt 

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Developing Effective Mentor Relationships

As a young female building my career in the business world, I always seem to have a great deal of questions and thoughts that swirl through my mind on a daily basis. I am trying to take in as much information as I possibly can and as a result, my head feels like it is going to explode at the end of each day....and I love it! I am constantly learning new things, new ideas & new technologies which comes flying at me at rapid speeds in so many different ways, through so many different mediums! I believe it is so important for any young person to learn as much as they can in the early stages of their career as it really serves as the foundation to our future success. Fortunately for me, I am surrounded by so many successful, intelligent & inspiring people that offer a wealth of knowledge and expertise which helps me with my development.

I have decided to write a blog that shares my experiences, thoughts and questions as I venture through my personal career & professional development. I am hoping that others in my situation will be able to take useful information from what I learn and implement it into their own growth. I am constantly learning from those out there with more life experience then me and would like to incorporate others successes & failures (my boss, Ben calls them lessons learned!) into my development. 

One useful tip that I strongly recommend to any young person looking to further their careers is to find mentors. Build relationships with people that can offer you sound advice, offer you expertise on relevant subject matter and help you broaden your network and contacts. You don't need to officially ask someone to be your mentor (if you are not comfortable with this) but you can ask them for advice on a particular area you need assistance with and let the relationship take form from there. From my experience, people are more then willing to help you if you ask them. I recently went through my own mentor seeking process and I have outlined below the steps I followed. As a result, I now have someone who is willing to help me develop my skills in an area that I need assistance with and I am so excited to start this journey!

Here are the steps I used that you can follow if you are ready to take on the Mentor Seeking Process:

1. Determine one area that you could use help in. This may be finding a job, developing your passion, understanding a specific topic you are interested in, overcoming a weakness, etc.

2. Make a long list of people you respect and admire based on what you know of them. Jot down as many names as you can as quickly as you can. Don't think about whether or not they would say yes or no, or whether or not you think they could help you in the area you have identified. Just come up with your ideal wish list to start. 

3. Go through this list and identify if they would be a good candidate to serve as your mentor or provide you with a referral. If you feel that they would make a good mentor then mark an M, if you think that they may know someone that could mentor you then mark an R. 

4. If you have enough people marked with an M then you can start to go through each person and identify the area you think they may be able to help you with. Give thought to each person on your list and determine who you would like to approach first. If you have not identified any potential mentors then begin contacting the referrals on your list and ask them if they know of anyone that could help you with the area you have identified in step 1. 

5. Once you have identified your ideal Mentor, prepare yourself before making contact. On a piece of paper write out your objectives, identify what area you need guidance and support in and what you would be looking for from them.

For example, your notes could look like this:

Objective: Finding a job in the marketing communications field

Guidance required: Expansion of professional contacts

Request: 10 minutes once a month to answer questions and provide tips related to developing my professional network to help me build relationships and find a job.

6. Make contact with this person through phone or email and tell them that you would appreciate 10 minutes of their time to talk to them about your professional/career development goals. Ask them if there is a good time for you to call them. They may tell you that they are available at that moment, which is why it is important to have your notes completed and ready. 

7. If in the event they say no to your mentor request, don't take it personally. Usually their reason for saying no will be a result of their previous commitments and lack of time. Take the opportunity to thank them for considering your request and ask them if they know of anyone that could help you. Keep the conversation positive and end on a good note. Follow up with an email to thank them for their time and ask them to keep you in mind should their time free up in the future.

8. Once you find your mentor, you are ready to begin your challenge. Remember, this person is committing time to help you. Don't abuse this relationship and always show your gratification. When you have your mentor discussions, be prepared as this will make it easy for them to help you. The easier you make it on them, the more you will get out of the relationship. 

It is important to note that you can have more then one mentor in different areas of your life. Don't limit yourself to thinking about one aspect you would like coaching or support in. Once you have gone through the steps listed above you can repeat the process as many times as you would like in all facets of your life. You can never have too many people committed to helping you with your personal and professional development goals. 

"A Mentor is someone whose hindsight can become your foresight."

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